It is like this, a man takes a mustard seed , the smallest seed in the world, and plants it in the ground. After a while, it grows up and becomes the biggest of all plants. It puts out such large branches that the birds come and make their nests in its shade.
Mark 4: 31-32 Don't ever think that you are only small creature in this world. Even if you are, you can bring hope or light to someone who needs it by your words and actions.
Hello all, it's been two months since I input any entry. Got home not long ago from a competitive season of games. It was a heart stopping match but also one which showed good camaraderie and school spirit.
10 months ago, I was with a group of 20 students in Thailand for community service whom I don't know and they also not familiar with me. Many months later their bonding is still as strong and still as supportive of one another. My relationship with them also grew over this period of time. These are the outcomes which I didn't foresee it happening for so long. I am moved by their willingness to want to come together to support each other. One if the girly girls on the trip back then shared how she was well trained by the harsh conditions in Thailand then and how a recent overseas immersion programme has helped her to settle in not as luxurious/comfortable accommodation. I was so proud of her growth ever since then.
On the other end of the line, I'm feeling so drained, tired and unmotivated. Yes, I've come to the same junction again asking myself what are the factors anchoring my stay in the job again. How now brown cow?
I've been at home these two days because of a sinus infection that made me took MC. Since I am unwell, I had to feed myself with whatever that was available at home.
When dad knew I would be eating at home, I could tell he deliberately cooked up a little bit more. They are simpler meals as compared to what I get every Sunday. But even in the simplicity, these flavours would never be the same as what I can buy from coffee shops or restaurants. And I know for sure it's a taste that I would certainly be able to accept.
Not that I am bragging but even my nephews and niece are spoilt by what my dad cooks. When they hear it's my dad's soup, they will surely want to drink. I guess I am fortunate to be borned into this family I have. I recall that my maternal grandfather used to cook up good stuffs for us too when we visited him. I missed his cookings, it's been 20 years since he passed away. But I'll never forget the specialities he cooks for us and how it reminds me of a grandfather/father's love for his family.
Life may not always be smooth but it is times like these that we give ourselves some time to stop and take stock of what is going on in our life. And in this little illness, it has reminded me how blessed I am.
This is Holy Week leading to Easter and it is a challenging week at work. I am supposed to be preparing myself spiritually but I also feel it is a trying time.
Tonight we ended the camp with the organisers sharing what feedback they have been getting about us, particularly me, of how intimidating that I am to some people. The first thing that came to my mind is, if you are conscience free, why is there a need to fear? Unless you have been guilty of doing something not right and u think that I am coming after you for that.
I choose to stay in this job because I truly believe in what student development can do and benefit the next generation. While they do not think its necessary and that they are old enough to think, they forgot that history proved them wrong so many times. If my job is here to just earn a salary and let life goes by, then this hard work that I'm doing is totally not worth my effort and time. I'm not here to please or make people happy only. My role is to teach u and develop you appropriately. If your ego is big at this age, I cannot imagine how much more it will grow as you enter into adulthood. Hopefully, you will turn around in time without needing life to deliver you with a painful lesson about humility.
To go or to keep? I really don't know. For now until the answer is found, I will just have to bear this cross.
Today marks the first day of Lent. Leading to this day, I've kinda dreaded it because it coincided with Chinese New Year again. I thought it might be really trying to survive through all the fasting and abstinence that is required. God showed me He is really great! Once again, he tells me that His graces are surely enough for me. So far, it hasn't been as challenging as I had thought. Thank God!
I received a sad news this morning that one of our students passed away yesterday. He was a good boy and a student leader that we could depend on. It is unfortunate with his sudden passing and we have lost a good youth.
Life, is really short. In today's mass, we sang Ashes. The lyrics struck me so hard. I recall picking my grandma's bone and ashes the other day. How a person who had lived on this earth for 96 years can be reduced to just ashes in about two hours. Today we are reminded that we were from ashes and when we leave this world, we return as ashes. All the great things we can do, all the impressions we want to leave on people, how long our lives we can live; we will be nothing on the day we return to the Father's Home. Of course, that doesn't mean we stop doing good things or great ideas. Life goes on as usual. We are only on this earth for as long as we are required to. Let's live the life that will lead us to living in eternity with the Lord.
1. We rise again from ashes,
from the good we’ve failed to do.
We rise again from ashes,
to create ourselves anew.
If all our world is ashes,
then must our lives be true,
an offering of ashes, an offering to you.
2. We offer you our failures,
we offer you attempts,
the gifts not fully given,
the dreams not fully dreamt.
Give our stumblings direction,
give our visions wider view,
an offering of ashes, an offering to you.
3. Then rise again from ashes,
let healing come to pain,
though spring has turned to winter,
and sunshine turned to rain.
The rain we’ll use for growing,
and create the world anew
from an offering of ashes, an offering to you.
It's been a week since my paternal grandma passed away. It would probably take a long time before I would forget how I received the news or maybe I would never forget. I still recall how I received my paternal grandfather's news 6 years plus ago.
Her last day in this world came too sudden and too unexpected. Perhaps we should have heeded the signs and symptoms, perhaps I should have spent more time really understanding her health condition, perhaps, perhaps and many more perhaps.
People always say that we need to appreciate the loved ones round us, tell them how much we love them and not wait till the time comes and regret not doing so. I wouldn't say I have regrets in this area. I'm glad that in her more coherent years, I did as much as I could as a grand daughter to show my filial piety towards her love for me through these years.
My aunt wanted some of the grandchildren to share about the grandma we know. And out of all of them, probably only 4 of us have the strongest inkling what grandma was like. The rest of them only had vague memories or relationship with her. Grandma has 8 grandchildren in all. those who were overseas were back timely and coincidently for her funeral. I felt really privileged to have solid memories of grandma, the relationship I had with her in her living years.
While I thought I knew how hard she went through in her early days, our family found out more hard truths on the eve before she was cremated. We were shocked to learnt that grandma was tougher than expected and also certainly as fragile as a women could be in her darkest days. Of course on the lighter side of things, we also learnt how she "smoked" my grandfather in believing she would be educated enough to be literate until the day that both of them had to sign on the dotted line. Grandma didn't even know how to write her name and only put a 'X' on where she was suppose to sign. That pissed grandpa off but it was too late. Haha, how interesting and hilarious it was.
Grandma's passing also somewhat brought the whole extended family closer in some ways. We haven't had such good family support for a long time. No bickering, no arguments, all just compromises in the name of love for grandma. Uncles, aunts, cousins and my brother coming together to do vigil.
We all believe that grandma is in the best place anyone could go to after death. She is re-united with grandpa and is relieved from all pain, agony and frustrations. Till we meet again gramps, you will both be missed dearly!
In less than 2 hours, 2012 will come to an end. Like previous years, on this day I will take stock of how I fared and the count my blessings for the year!
It's been a really challenging year, pushing my limits over and over, time and again. I have definitely learnt new things and appreciated matters in new perspectives. 2012 has rekindled my want for learning and personal development. It isn't just about going for courses but realising that I need to practice what I believe and pursue it passionately.
2013's first half of the year is almost fully packed on my schedule. Come what may! By the grace of God I know I won't be journeying alone. And there is no need for a long list of new year resolutions. Take life as it comes and you will probably achieve far more than what you have set with an open mind.
It's been a while that I had some mind boggling thoughts. I've been questioning myself lately why am still in my job? Especially when times with work was really challenging. And then each time I would think of the great experiences I create with the students, my heart would soften and say I'll stay for the students.
It's really not the best times to have these thoughts and after going through a 7 days course about being a manager.
The day before I left for my service learning trip with school, a colleague urgently send me a message and I thought it was some life and death. She gave me a huge positive stroke and encouragement to keep me motivated. I was very touched buy her gestures and it was also those words that she wrote that brought tears to my eyes.
And then I know of someone who seems to be stirring emotions among my workmates that I feel dislodged at times. It's not that I didn't try but perhaps their idealism is really different from mine. I have this feeling that it is time, now. But at the same time, the pull factor on student development is also so strong. This tug of war puts me such a dilemma. These three weeks of leave, I hope, will help me sort out my thoughts.
