In less than 2 hours, 2012 will come to an end. Like previous years, on this day I will take stock of how I fared and the count my blessings for the year!
It's been a really challenging year, pushing my limits over and over, time and again. I have definitely learnt new things and appreciated matters in new perspectives. 2012 has rekindled my want for learning and personal development. It isn't just about going for courses but realising that I need to practice what I believe and pursue it passionately.
2013's first half of the year is almost fully packed on my schedule. Come what may! By the grace of God I know I won't be journeying alone. And there is no need for a long list of new year resolutions. Take life as it comes and you will probably achieve far more than what you have set with an open mind.
To a fantabulous new year!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Mind Boggling
It's been a while that I had some mind boggling thoughts. I've been questioning myself lately why am still in my job? Especially when times with work was really challenging. And then each time I would think of the great experiences I create with the students, my heart would soften and say I'll stay for the students.
It's really not the best times to have these thoughts and after going through a 7 days course about being a manager.
The day before I left for my service learning trip with school, a colleague urgently send me a message and I thought it was some life and death. She gave me a huge positive stroke and encouragement to keep me motivated. I was very touched buy her gestures and it was also those words that she wrote that brought tears to my eyes.
And then I know of someone who seems to be stirring emotions among my workmates that I feel dislodged at times. It's not that I didn't try but perhaps their idealism is really different from mine. I have this feeling that it is time, now. But at the same time, the pull factor on student development is also so strong. This tug of war puts me such a dilemma. These three weeks of leave, I hope, will help me sort out my thoughts.
It's really not the best times to have these thoughts and after going through a 7 days course about being a manager.
The day before I left for my service learning trip with school, a colleague urgently send me a message and I thought it was some life and death. She gave me a huge positive stroke and encouragement to keep me motivated. I was very touched buy her gestures and it was also those words that she wrote that brought tears to my eyes.
And then I know of someone who seems to be stirring emotions among my workmates that I feel dislodged at times. It's not that I didn't try but perhaps their idealism is really different from mine. I have this feeling that it is time, now. But at the same time, the pull factor on student development is also so strong. This tug of war puts me such a dilemma. These three weeks of leave, I hope, will help me sort out my thoughts.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
It's Not The End but a New Chapter
Tonight, we wrapped up the service learning trip that i went with my students recently. Since we first formed the team 2.5 months ago, I had no expecatations and didn't know how the team may turn out to be. I had a lot of apprehensions about the trip and even how it might end up as. But, over these 2 months, I must say that outcome wasn't what I expected. The impact of the trip had actually bonded 20 strangers together. I am touched by their enthusiasm to support each other through the recent competitions.
What may seem like the end of their service learning experience is now a new beginning where friendships were forged in those 14 days. Where leadership starts from each an every one of them in their own ways. It will be a new journey for all of them from now on with the experience they have received.
All the best to the 20 of you! I look forward to the day to see you all bloom!
What may seem like the end of their service learning experience is now a new beginning where friendships were forged in those 14 days. Where leadership starts from each an every one of them in their own ways. It will be a new journey for all of them from now on with the experience they have received.
All the best to the 20 of you! I look forward to the day to see you all bloom!
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Rash Rash
It's been a few days since I got back from my recent school trip. It was good because the trip opened my eyes to see many things beyond my own perspectives. This time, we traveled to the mountains where the Hmong Tribe people stayed. Holey moley! It was a good 1 hr off-road experience which at some point of time I had wanted to throw up. My admiration to the villagers who chose to stay in this village and have limited access to the outside world.
The last time where I really roughed it out in a camping experience was probably 2 years ago when I still followed on the adventure trips. We had tents this time, pretty luxurious because the tent is built inside a shelter so doesn't matter about rain and shine but BUGS!!! Yes! Bugs!!! Horrible... I even squashed something to death below the tent. It looked like a scorpion. You can imagine the smell it gave out after being dead. For a few days? I don't know, really. I thought it would have been the lizard that I tried to chase around. Anyway, the toilet was the biggest challenge even though I do not have to dig my own hole. It's actually a modern squat toilet but with a thousand and one bugs flying inside, squatting and cold, it really took me out of my comfort zone for that. I have all the comfy for camping so that wasn't a problem at all.
One of the mornings, I woke up at 5.30am, the first to be awake. My mind was thinking. I couldn't get back to sleep and I was in major reflective thoughts. While I was reflecting and writing, there was this big stick insect that starting to crawl into the room right next to my leg. My first reaction was to kill because we spared no insects that looks like spiders. After I tried to squash it with my feet, I then realized that it wasn't a spider but a harmless stick insect. I watched it recovered from its unconsciousness and pulling itself slowly away from me with its crippled legs. I felt so bad at that moment and regretted in my rashness for not checking properly before reacting.
How many times do we often get rash over things before we checked them out properly? Like the saying goes, what's said cannot be taken back. You can apologize a thousand times but the crack has been made. Words, not always and necessarily help to mend such hurts. This was one of the greatest lesson I learnt on this trip. To not over-react and "kill" something innocent along the way. Better to be safe than sorry is not always the best option.
The last time where I really roughed it out in a camping experience was probably 2 years ago when I still followed on the adventure trips. We had tents this time, pretty luxurious because the tent is built inside a shelter so doesn't matter about rain and shine but BUGS!!! Yes! Bugs!!! Horrible... I even squashed something to death below the tent. It looked like a scorpion. You can imagine the smell it gave out after being dead. For a few days? I don't know, really. I thought it would have been the lizard that I tried to chase around. Anyway, the toilet was the biggest challenge even though I do not have to dig my own hole. It's actually a modern squat toilet but with a thousand and one bugs flying inside, squatting and cold, it really took me out of my comfort zone for that. I have all the comfy for camping so that wasn't a problem at all.
One of the mornings, I woke up at 5.30am, the first to be awake. My mind was thinking. I couldn't get back to sleep and I was in major reflective thoughts. While I was reflecting and writing, there was this big stick insect that starting to crawl into the room right next to my leg. My first reaction was to kill because we spared no insects that looks like spiders. After I tried to squash it with my feet, I then realized that it wasn't a spider but a harmless stick insect. I watched it recovered from its unconsciousness and pulling itself slowly away from me with its crippled legs. I felt so bad at that moment and regretted in my rashness for not checking properly before reacting.
How many times do we often get rash over things before we checked them out properly? Like the saying goes, what's said cannot be taken back. You can apologize a thousand times but the crack has been made. Words, not always and necessarily help to mend such hurts. This was one of the greatest lesson I learnt on this trip. To not over-react and "kill" something innocent along the way. Better to be safe than sorry is not always the best option.
Friday, August 24, 2012
The Power of Prayer! Believe!
I was reading the previous post and played the song - Be Still. I started to tear. I realised I have always posted writings here about needing His graces. Yes, this is another one about it. Because I feel that this time I really can only depend on His healing and mercy on us.
I recall last year this time, I was also preparing to go on a school trip and my health seemed to light up some issues. I kept my fingers crossed, prayed but not very hard and went on with the trip. I came back and had a positive health report though some areas requires improvement.
I haven't been well the past few days. In short, if medical report out next week shows that it is only bacteria infection, it is good news. Otherwise, it may be something else which would require further investigations. I went back to office today, discussed with a colleague and we both agree that I should inform my host partner that I may not make it to the trip this time. Just to get her prepared in case the report really doesn't turn out good.
In the midst of settling some urgent work at hand, she called. It was a timely reminder that I had to inform. I called her back a short while later as I was occupied with something urgent. She was very surprised to hear what I told her. But instead of sounding negative, she gave me encouragement and reminded me that I need to believe in God's healing. She's a Christian by the way. She reiterated that I need to keep my faith and believe in the power of prayer. We spoke about some work and before we hang up, she offered to pray for me over the phone. I was very heartened to know and accepted it. I needed it very much at this moment. While she was praying about 3/4 through, I felt as though something just took the pain away and also lifted my spirit. I felt so joyful, never before in the past few days. The gift of joy was certainly in me. I told her right away when the prayer ended and we both believe that it was the power of prayer. There is definitely no doubt about it.
She taught me a lesson. I need to continue to believe the healing power of our Lord. I just need to believe and not doubt. He will make all things beautiful again, in His time. I have been rescued by Him so many times, he will help me through this round. Let go and believe! Please keep me in your prayers.
I recall last year this time, I was also preparing to go on a school trip and my health seemed to light up some issues. I kept my fingers crossed, prayed but not very hard and went on with the trip. I came back and had a positive health report though some areas requires improvement.
I haven't been well the past few days. In short, if medical report out next week shows that it is only bacteria infection, it is good news. Otherwise, it may be something else which would require further investigations. I went back to office today, discussed with a colleague and we both agree that I should inform my host partner that I may not make it to the trip this time. Just to get her prepared in case the report really doesn't turn out good.
In the midst of settling some urgent work at hand, she called. It was a timely reminder that I had to inform. I called her back a short while later as I was occupied with something urgent. She was very surprised to hear what I told her. But instead of sounding negative, she gave me encouragement and reminded me that I need to believe in God's healing. She's a Christian by the way. She reiterated that I need to keep my faith and believe in the power of prayer. We spoke about some work and before we hang up, she offered to pray for me over the phone. I was very heartened to know and accepted it. I needed it very much at this moment. While she was praying about 3/4 through, I felt as though something just took the pain away and also lifted my spirit. I felt so joyful, never before in the past few days. The gift of joy was certainly in me. I told her right away when the prayer ended and we both believe that it was the power of prayer. There is definitely no doubt about it.
She taught me a lesson. I need to continue to believe the healing power of our Lord. I just need to believe and not doubt. He will make all things beautiful again, in His time. I have been rescued by Him so many times, he will help me through this round. Let go and believe! Please keep me in your prayers.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
My Graces Are ENOUGH For You!
It's been an adventurous weekend. So many events and one totally unexpected. And not a good one. Today's second reading was a reminder from God that I am weak but He is strong.
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Cor 12:7-10
I need to place my trust in Him and know that He will take the lead. That in His name He will provide the covering and blessings.
But he said, "What is impossible with man is possible with God.”
Luke: 18:27
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Cor 12:7-10
I need to place my trust in Him and know that He will take the lead. That in His name He will provide the covering and blessings.
But he said, "What is impossible with man is possible with God.”
Luke: 18:27
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Remembering....
Today, I learnt from the news that an ex-colleague has passed away. She is a producer with the national tv station and the first producer I worked with when I was there during my short stint.
She isn't the easiest person you will work with but neither is she as tough as you think she may torture. I have learnt a lot from her about life lessons and some of those things that she said still rings in my ears. Some of the things she said is quite a common sense and I have known but it's the way she put it forward to me when I was still a newbie AP then that I understand it from a different perspective.
I remember getting scoldings from her when I wrote wrong chinese words in my daily production to her and when I reacted slower than she expect. No matter what, she has taught me a great deal and in some ways has been kinder than some colleagues then to me.
Some years ago I met her at an event which I was helping out and I called out to her. She was surprised that I remembered her name. I certainly will and will remember for a long time.
May you rest in peace. You have run your race and won yourself some milestones in life. Till we meet again, someday...
She isn't the easiest person you will work with but neither is she as tough as you think she may torture. I have learnt a lot from her about life lessons and some of those things that she said still rings in my ears. Some of the things she said is quite a common sense and I have known but it's the way she put it forward to me when I was still a newbie AP then that I understand it from a different perspective.
I remember getting scoldings from her when I wrote wrong chinese words in my daily production to her and when I reacted slower than she expect. No matter what, she has taught me a great deal and in some ways has been kinder than some colleagues then to me.
Some years ago I met her at an event which I was helping out and I called out to her. She was surprised that I remembered her name. I certainly will and will remember for a long time.
May you rest in peace. You have run your race and won yourself some milestones in life. Till we meet again, someday...
Friday, April 27, 2012
Idealism vs Realism
Change is always the constant. As such, many times what we hope for ideally may not realistic in actual situations. Many people often bring along their ideals to environments that they are involved in. Some will accept changes when reality seems different, some will resist the change. What will you do?
There are no systems or processes that can appease everybody. It's whether you accept and follow it or you challenge it by coming up with a better solution.
If you think you know more than anybody and is saddened that why reality is not as what you perceived it should be, perhaps it's time to wake up and accept the real world.
There are no systems or processes that can appease everybody. It's whether you accept and follow it or you challenge it by coming up with a better solution.
If you think you know more than anybody and is saddened that why reality is not as what you perceived it should be, perhaps it's time to wake up and accept the real world.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Yes!!
This day has finally arrived. 5 years of hard work, sweat, blood and tears. Yes, if you are wondering, yes, I got what I had wanted.
When my boss first told me that I would stand a good chance for promotions this year I didn't put much thought about it. I didn't want to have a great disappointment when it doesn't happen. And then I also thought to myself that if I should get it, the management probably put in some 'pity marks' for me to score because of the bee sting incident. Then friends and colleagues around me before this day has been encouraging me to accept it if it happens because I truly deserve it. I think I was the first few who were called in to my big boss room. When I saw him holding two letters in his hands (two letters is clear indication for promotion), I knew I got it. I just smiled and it was uncontrollable. I am happy of course. I admit that I still feel being able to get this is partly due to the bee incident.
Well, this happy occasion only comes to tell that greater responsibilities will come. New role and more duties will land on my lap. Guess that is only natural to want to move and progress.
Come what may! I know the Lord will walk with me. And my feelings now - grateful!
When my boss first told me that I would stand a good chance for promotions this year I didn't put much thought about it. I didn't want to have a great disappointment when it doesn't happen. And then I also thought to myself that if I should get it, the management probably put in some 'pity marks' for me to score because of the bee sting incident. Then friends and colleagues around me before this day has been encouraging me to accept it if it happens because I truly deserve it. I think I was the first few who were called in to my big boss room. When I saw him holding two letters in his hands (two letters is clear indication for promotion), I knew I got it. I just smiled and it was uncontrollable. I am happy of course. I admit that I still feel being able to get this is partly due to the bee incident.
Well, this happy occasion only comes to tell that greater responsibilities will come. New role and more duties will land on my lap. Guess that is only natural to want to move and progress.
Come what may! I know the Lord will walk with me. And my feelings now - grateful!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Joy
About 2 weeks ago, we ran our leadership camp by ourselves for the very first time. We conducted our own workshops, came up with the topics and went all out to play our students. Other than one person, the whole team of officers just came together and made the camp happened. We had our doubts and our apprehensions. Even the students were surprised at what we could deliver. Heh heh... kiddos, don't underestimate what we are capable of. Otherwise, we wouldn't be at our jobs. And this team synergy has been strong since then.
Today is a happy day. We celebrated 2 birthdays at office and both were surprises at separate times for the birthday boy and girl. We came together playfully to surprise a new colleague for her birthday and an old grumpy guard for his. Both of them is often thought as unfriendly but today we put smiles on both of them. To be honest, I have never felt this spirit is good for a loooooong time. I hope the synergy at office will remain like this.
Today is a happy day. We celebrated 2 birthdays at office and both were surprises at separate times for the birthday boy and girl. We came together playfully to surprise a new colleague for her birthday and an old grumpy guard for his. Both of them is often thought as unfriendly but today we put smiles on both of them. To be honest, I have never felt this spirit is good for a loooooong time. I hope the synergy at office will remain like this.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Bruised
This has been a whole week of training for me. Not a good time actually but not much of choice due to the various window time frame.
Yesterday morning while I was driving along a highway to my training site, the sun, my shades and the music in my car gave such a refreshing and hopeful feel. I was playing At The Cross by Hillsong. Suddenly I just felt that the morning was so good, so hopeful. That no matter how hard the day may be, I know the Lord will be walking with me. I was tempted to capture down that moment but I was alone in the car and I can't stop by the road. For safety sake I missed putting that moment in a photo frame.
Today, was the last day of training and it was held in school. Somehow, attending in school is always more distracting. I just somewhat couldn't focus on the training contents. My heart and mind was thinking about what work needs to be done and finished this week. So when it came to my turn to practice my facilitation skills, I felt so unprepared. Partially my fault for not putting in enough effort and understanding. And I just carried out the task, moving it through motion, without using my brains much. At the debrief, I was critiqued and yes, comments didn't come nice. I didn't explain nor defended myself but just nodded to show signs of acceptance. Inside me, I was angry. Angry with myself but I figured maybe I should just remain silent. Not life and death, only a matter if you could swallow what was being said and allow my ego to be bruised. Those who know me well, they would probably be expecting that I would want to "fight back" but today I just let it go. This afternoon I felt that I lost an opportunity to showcase what I can do. Now thinking back, it wasn't a bad thing. The least I showed to the newbies that as a senior, I am able to take and handle criticisms. How many senior employees in any organisation can do that? Humility.
Of course this is a painful lesson. One that would leave deep impression for a long time. There's always an opportunity to show what I can do. In His time, I know He will lead me to do it well.
"You tore the veil, You made a way! When you said that is done." At the Cross, Hillsong.
Yesterday morning while I was driving along a highway to my training site, the sun, my shades and the music in my car gave such a refreshing and hopeful feel. I was playing At The Cross by Hillsong. Suddenly I just felt that the morning was so good, so hopeful. That no matter how hard the day may be, I know the Lord will be walking with me. I was tempted to capture down that moment but I was alone in the car and I can't stop by the road. For safety sake I missed putting that moment in a photo frame.
Today, was the last day of training and it was held in school. Somehow, attending in school is always more distracting. I just somewhat couldn't focus on the training contents. My heart and mind was thinking about what work needs to be done and finished this week. So when it came to my turn to practice my facilitation skills, I felt so unprepared. Partially my fault for not putting in enough effort and understanding. And I just carried out the task, moving it through motion, without using my brains much. At the debrief, I was critiqued and yes, comments didn't come nice. I didn't explain nor defended myself but just nodded to show signs of acceptance. Inside me, I was angry. Angry with myself but I figured maybe I should just remain silent. Not life and death, only a matter if you could swallow what was being said and allow my ego to be bruised. Those who know me well, they would probably be expecting that I would want to "fight back" but today I just let it go. This afternoon I felt that I lost an opportunity to showcase what I can do. Now thinking back, it wasn't a bad thing. The least I showed to the newbies that as a senior, I am able to take and handle criticisms. How many senior employees in any organisation can do that? Humility.
Of course this is a painful lesson. One that would leave deep impression for a long time. There's always an opportunity to show what I can do. In His time, I know He will lead me to do it well.
"You tore the veil, You made a way! When you said that is done." At the Cross, Hillsong.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Swallowing IT hard!!
I'm actually very tired after a whole day of work but I say to myself that I must make this entry so that this would be a reminder to myself. Not towards the bad but more of self-encouragement.
Today I swallowed hard on my pride and ego so to not stoop to the low-class argument and mentality of a colleague. I know I was not in a wrong and everyone else also knows that. I was quite hot-headed when the incident happened and was so sure I would deal with it confrontational via email. Like this person would get worse repercussions through black and white and look totally stupid because it was not my fault at all. And I would also copy my boss in the email. But while I was crafting the reply, I got into a dilemma. My brain says 'Do It!', my heart says 'Forget about it. Be gracious!'. I stared at the screen for a long time struggling to make a decision to do it or not. And my heart won. I decided not to because,
1. There are enough wars already going on in office. I don't need another to make my point when everybody else knows the problem doesn't lie with me.
2. I don't need to fall into this 'trap' and show that I am of the same maturity and attitude as this person and it isn't my fault afterall.
Maybe some of you reading it will think I've made a foolish move and I should have countered back. I may 'suffer' more now but I trust that in long term I will be winner after all. I will always remember what one of my ex-bosses say, "Pick the right war to fight!". Yup! This war is not worth my time.
Today I swallowed hard on my pride and ego so to not stoop to the low-class argument and mentality of a colleague. I know I was not in a wrong and everyone else also knows that. I was quite hot-headed when the incident happened and was so sure I would deal with it confrontational via email. Like this person would get worse repercussions through black and white and look totally stupid because it was not my fault at all. And I would also copy my boss in the email. But while I was crafting the reply, I got into a dilemma. My brain says 'Do It!', my heart says 'Forget about it. Be gracious!'. I stared at the screen for a long time struggling to make a decision to do it or not. And my heart won. I decided not to because,
1. There are enough wars already going on in office. I don't need another to make my point when everybody else knows the problem doesn't lie with me.
2. I don't need to fall into this 'trap' and show that I am of the same maturity and attitude as this person and it isn't my fault afterall.
Maybe some of you reading it will think I've made a foolish move and I should have countered back. I may 'suffer' more now but I trust that in long term I will be winner after all. I will always remember what one of my ex-bosses say, "Pick the right war to fight!". Yup! This war is not worth my time.
Monday, January 2, 2012
A Good Start!
I was introduced to the song below at yesterday's Praise and Worship. It's been a long time since I attended one and ta-da!! His message is here for me! There was certainly a purpose for me to be there and I am thankful. I know He will walk with me through this year in all the highs and lows :D !
I hope this song is of help to all that needs His graces too.
滿有能力 I Am Strengthened in Him (Stream of Praise)
我的盼望
All of my hope
就在耶穌基督裡
Lies in Jesus Christ alone
在祢裡面滿有平安
For I know that He is my peace
生命泉源
All of my joy
就在耶穌基督裡
Lies in Jesus Christ alone
有主在我裡面活著
He lives in me forever more
﹝副歌﹞
我宣告在我裡面的
Declare, “the One who’s within me
比世上一切更有能力
Is greater than the one in the world”
我不屬這世界
I’m not of this world
我高舉耶穌的名
I belong to Jesus, the King
我宣告在我裡面有
Declare, “the one who’s within me
活水湧流滿有能力
Is greater than the one in the world”
有耶穌在我裡面活著
I know that the King lives in me
我勇敢站立
I am strengthened in Him!
﹝Bridge﹞
有主在我裡面
My Lord, who lives in me
沒有懼怕能戰勝仇敵
Conquers all of my enemies
有主在我裡面
My Lord, who lives in me
沒有懼怕還得勝有餘
Is my portion, my victory
I hope this song is of help to all that needs His graces too.
滿有能力 I Am Strengthened in Him (Stream of Praise)
我的盼望All of my hope
就在耶穌基督裡
Lies in Jesus Christ alone
在祢裡面滿有平安
For I know that He is my peace
生命泉源
All of my joy
就在耶穌基督裡
Lies in Jesus Christ alone
有主在我裡面活著
He lives in me forever more
﹝副歌﹞
我宣告在我裡面的
Declare, “the One who’s within me
比世上一切更有能力
Is greater than the one in the world”
我不屬這世界
I’m not of this world
我高舉耶穌的名
I belong to Jesus, the King
我宣告在我裡面有
Declare, “the one who’s within me
活水湧流滿有能力
Is greater than the one in the world”
有耶穌在我裡面活著
I know that the King lives in me
我勇敢站立
I am strengthened in Him!
﹝Bridge﹞
有主在我裡面
My Lord, who lives in me
沒有懼怕能戰勝仇敵
Conquers all of my enemies
有主在我裡面
My Lord, who lives in me
沒有懼怕還得勝有餘
Is my portion, my victory
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