Remembering....

Today, I learnt from the news that an ex-colleague has passed away. She is a producer with the national tv station and the first producer I worked with when I was there during my short stint.

She isn't the easiest person you will work with but neither is she as tough as you think she may torture. I have learnt a lot from her about life lessons and some of those things that she said still rings in my ears. Some of the things she said is quite a common sense and I have known but it's the way she put it forward to me when I was still a newbie AP then that I understand it from a different perspective.

I remember getting scoldings from her when I wrote wrong chinese words in my daily production to her and when I reacted slower than she expect. No matter what, she has taught me a great deal and in some ways has been kinder than some colleagues then to me.

Some years ago I met her at an event which I was helping out and I called out to her. She was surprised that I remembered her name. I certainly will and will remember for a long time.

May you rest in peace. You have run your race and won yourself some milestones in life. Till we meet again, someday...

Idealism vs Realism

Change is always the constant. As such, many times what we hope for ideally may not realistic in actual situations. Many people often bring along their ideals to environments that they are involved in. Some will accept changes when reality seems different, some will resist the change. What will you do?

There are no systems or processes that can appease everybody. It's whether you accept and follow it or you challenge it by coming up with a better solution.

If you think you know more than anybody and is saddened that why reality is not as what you perceived it should be, perhaps it's time to wake up and accept the real world.

Yes!!

This day has finally arrived. 5 years of hard work, sweat, blood and tears. Yes, if you are wondering, yes, I got what I had wanted.

When my boss first told me that I would stand a good chance for promotions this year I didn't put much thought about it. I didn't want to have a great disappointment when it doesn't happen. And then I also thought to myself that if I should get it, the management probably put in some 'pity marks' for me to score because of the bee sting incident. Then friends and colleagues around me before this day has been encouraging me to accept it if it happens because I truly deserve it. I think I was the first few who were called in to my big boss room. When I saw him holding two letters in his hands (two letters is clear indication for promotion), I knew I got it. I just smiled and it was uncontrollable. I am happy of course. I admit that I still feel being able to get this is partly due to the bee incident.

Well, this happy occasion only comes to tell that greater responsibilities will come. New role and more duties will land on my lap. Guess that is only natural to want to move and progress.

Come what may! I know the Lord will walk with me. And my feelings now - grateful!

Joy

About 2 weeks ago, we ran our leadership camp by ourselves for the very first time. We conducted our own workshops, came up with the topics and went all out to play our students. Other than one person, the whole team of officers just came together and made the camp happened. We had our doubts and our apprehensions. Even the students were surprised at what we could deliver. Heh heh... kiddos, don't underestimate what we are capable of. Otherwise, we wouldn't be at our jobs. And this team synergy has been strong since then.

Today is a happy day. We celebrated 2 birthdays at office and both were surprises at separate times for the birthday boy and girl. We came together playfully to surprise a new colleague for her birthday and an old grumpy guard for his. Both of them is often thought as unfriendly but today we put smiles on both of them. To be honest, I have never felt this spirit is good for a loooooong time. I hope the synergy at office will remain like this.

Bruised

This has been a whole week of training for me. Not a good time actually but not much of choice due to the various window time frame.

Yesterday morning while I was driving along a highway to my training site, the sun, my shades and the music in my car gave such a refreshing and hopeful feel. I was playing At The Cross by Hillsong. Suddenly I just felt that the morning was so good, so hopeful. That no matter how hard the day may be, I know the Lord will be walking with me. I was tempted to capture down that moment but I was alone in the car and I can't stop by the road. For safety sake I missed putting that moment in a photo frame.

Today, was the last day of training and it was held in school. Somehow, attending in school is always more distracting. I just somewhat couldn't focus on the training contents. My heart and mind was thinking about what work needs to be done and finished this week. So when it came to my turn to practice my facilitation skills, I felt so unprepared. Partially my fault for not putting in enough effort and understanding. And I just carried out the task, moving it through motion, without using my brains much. At the debrief, I was critiqued and yes, comments didn't come nice. I didn't explain nor defended myself but just nodded to show signs of acceptance. Inside me, I was angry. Angry with myself but I figured maybe I should just remain silent. Not life and death, only a matter if you could swallow what was being said and allow my ego to be bruised. Those who know me well, they would probably be expecting that I would want to "fight back" but today I just let it go. This afternoon I felt that I lost an opportunity to showcase what I can do. Now thinking back, it wasn't a bad thing. The least I showed to the newbies that as a senior, I am able to take and handle criticisms. How many senior employees in any organisation can do that? Humility.

Of course this is a painful lesson. One that would leave deep impression for a long time. There's always an opportunity to show what I can do. In His time, I know He will lead me to do it well.

"You tore the veil, You made a way! When you said that is done." At the Cross, Hillsong.

Swallowing IT hard!!

I'm actually very tired after a whole day of work but I say to myself that I must make this entry so that this would be a reminder to myself. Not towards the bad but more of self-encouragement.

Today I swallowed hard on my pride and ego so to not stoop to the low-class argument and mentality of a colleague. I know I was not in a wrong and everyone else also knows that. I was quite hot-headed when the incident happened and was so sure I would deal with it confrontational via email. Like this person would get worse repercussions through black and white and look totally stupid because it was not my fault at all. And I would also copy my boss in the email. But while I was crafting the reply, I got into a dilemma. My brain says 'Do It!', my heart says 'Forget about it. Be gracious!'. I stared at the screen for a long time struggling to make a decision to do it or not. And my heart won. I decided not to because,

1. There are enough wars already going on in office. I don't need another to make my point when everybody else knows the problem doesn't lie with me.

2. I don't need to fall into this 'trap' and show that I am of the same maturity and attitude as this person and it isn't my fault afterall.

Maybe some of you reading it will think I've made a foolish move and I should have countered back. I may 'suffer' more now but I trust that in long term I will be winner after all. I will always remember what one of my ex-bosses say, "Pick the right war to fight!". Yup! This war is not worth my time.

A Good Start!

I was introduced to the song below at yesterday's Praise and Worship. It's been a long time since I attended one and ta-da!! His message is here for me! There was certainly a purpose for me to be there and I am thankful. I know He will walk with me through this year in all the highs and lows :D !

I hope this song is of help to all that needs His graces too.

滿有能力 I Am Strengthened in Him (Stream of Praise)

我的盼望
All of my hope
就在耶穌基督裡
Lies in Jesus Christ alone
在祢裡面滿有平安
For I know that He is my peace
生命泉源
All of my joy
就在耶穌基督裡
Lies in Jesus Christ alone
有主在我裡面活著
He lives in me forever more

﹝副歌﹞
我宣告在我裡面的
Declare, “the One who’s within me
比世上一切更有能力
Is greater than the one in the world”
我不屬這世界
I’m not of this world
我高舉耶穌的名
I belong to Jesus, the King
我宣告在我裡面有
Declare, “the one who’s within me
活水湧流滿有能力
Is greater than the one in the world”
有耶穌在我裡面活著
I know that the King lives in me
我勇敢站立
I am strengthened in Him!

﹝Bridge﹞
有主在我裡面
My Lord, who lives in me
沒有懼怕能戰勝仇敵
Conquers all of my enemies
有主在我裡面
My Lord, who lives in me
沒有懼怕還得勝有餘
Is my portion, my victory