???

There's so much in my head that I want to say but also too much that I don't know where to start and what to say.

New Perspectives

It's been a week long of training. This week of time that colleagues and I spent together was beyond what the training provided. We bonded through fun, dirt, slimes and unpleasant human factors. The kind of dynamics we had was unimaginable.

Heart attack had never been that fun since eons ago. How people can miss 4 other persons hands and hit so hard on the floor instead. Laugh till I was rolling on the floor. But I guess the game that brought us greater bondage was Old Maid. This is the first time I played a game that the forfeit was not actually played on the one who loses but transfering of the forfeit to the people out of the game.

It was definitely the people that made the difference. Already at our work place, we are a playful lot when we come together. Worst still, when the whole group attends an experiential learning course together. A pity that some of the colleagues could not join us on this course.

Personally, it was time when I saw new perspectives in adventure learning, outdoor education, whatever you name it. Not that I don't know what some of the topics/modules. It was refreshing in some ways and reminded about place based pedagogy. It is a lesson that I am learning for myself here too. Some of the contents are so close to my hearts that I do agree that I have taken my knowledge about them for granted.

It was a dreaded week before I hit it as I was supposed to be off on some holidays. I changed my plans and told myself that this better be worth it. It has been and I'm glad I attended the training. Behind every dark cloud, there is definitely a silver lining.

The Process

It's been almost a month plus of non-stop action, one of the most demanding period of this year. First, it started off with preparing for the Marine Conservation trip and the trip itself. Then it was preparing for Poly Forum, Pre-Forum and the event itself. The last stretch was Canoeing Club's sea expedition. It's amazing how I survived it all, and all only possible because of the graces He provides me through. Thank you Lord!

And it is also during this period what I'm challenged most is not my own preparation to the events, rather the students.

How does one determine the success of the event? The good turnout (no. of people), smooth execution of programme, a team effort that was well carried through etc? Yes, surely, definitely. But I'll like to add in one more perspective. The learning process. As educators, we often speak about benefiting from the learning process. Just how much do we allow ourselves and the students to fail or succeed? What are the means in achieving it?

I like to cite a recent event example which I think is process and thought provoking.

We were supposed to row to this part in Malaysia, near Singapore, place for this year's expedition. As advised by a few people and with the support of boss, I threw the spanner at the team that the sea and weather conditions may not be favourable. It was a tough decision to make. Really. And after some of their discussion, it was decided that we stay in Singapore. Recce and preparation began underway.

Then the event day itself came. Weather was almost perfect minus the fact that we were rowing against current. Then upon reaching the campsite, it was a horror fact to many of the participants as they weren't expecting to be that rugged a condition. Maybe because the venue was changed, organisers didn't do much to plan proper programmes for all. It may seemed like a cruel decision made earlier to make them all camp at Ubin. Organisers swayed their plans to please participants. Logistical items and money that were needed were left in school. Pissing mad situations when students run to you to say they need money and expect it to drop from the sky.

After some rounds of pep talks, it was done in a bid to have the organisers firm themselves up better. The last night, a storm hit us. An element which I hope that we could have missed as I know the participants were somewhat stretched beyond their limits. Some began to abandon their tents because water went in or collapsed. I was awake when the storm started. For some apparent reason that I don't know why, I was awoken just before it started. I was struggling in my tent to whether I should make them re-set their tent properly or just allow them to seek shelter in the hut for the rest of the night. The question that was in my mind, how hard do I want to push their limits? They are not the adventurous group after all. But this is a joke because their expedition acronym stood for Canoeing Adventure Proficiency Skills. So adventure in canoeing only or all aspects?

Yes, there were lots of complains from the seniors who had the luxuries before the previous years. The President wrote something encouraging on their club blog to the organisers. It may have been some consolation to some from the message. What was the message intent? Consolation or encouragement?

So, what determines if the event was a success? I would like to hear from each and every of them. For to me, if they can tell me what went wrong, what could have been done and improve next time, this expedition is a success. The process of learning was not only in doing but understanding the whole thing it all.

Humanity

I was watching the Paralympic Opening (delayed telecast) on Ch 5. It really struck me on the magnitude of the Opening Ceremony, just as big and impressive as Beijing Olympic. The no. of people involved, their costumes, performance and this time performers. Because it's Paralympics, they got some handicapped citizens to perform with the theme. Fair enough, giving them some limelight that they are not totally impaired. There is still value in them.

Then came the lighting of the flame. Wow, yes, they used Paralympians, highlighting their achievements. Well done. Then when it got to the last athelete, a wheelchair bound paralympian because of an amputated leg, he hoisted himself all the way up to the bottom with the torch stuck on the wheelchair. I had mixed reactions when I saw him pulling the rope.

1. China's really out to impress on their creativity.
2. Truly showing how physically disabled people can do what normal people can do as well or even better.

Along the way, he stopped a few times to rest and the crowd was cheering and encouraging him not to stop. He can't surrender. Definitely not at the expense of such a big event. China would not have picked him to do the job anyway. I started to think if the human rights group would be rallying or lobbying the next day on such issues. Was it right to ask so much of the handicapped athelete? So what if he was an outstanding paralympian? Yeah, we're trying to prove a point here but is it too much to ask of him? I'm sure he had pulled himself at least 50m up.

Is this an act to demonstrate their excedding willpower to overcome challenges or a creative showcase?

The beginning of an end

It's the end of a week. The moment where people who would just like to hang up legs and relax through the weekend and forget about work. It's the beginning of another hectic period for me. And when it starts, it won't end till another 2.5 weeks. I'm almost made believing it myself that I've exceeded my limits. But I still need to go on... WLB??

when will it be?

I can feel how my mind and body is depleting after work each day. And when I reach the end each day, I just want to rest and relax but don't think I can achieve that this week. I'm looking forward to a break. Till when can I?

Listen from within

Wokay, got back a few days ago from the divers' marine conservation project. Honestly, I only know what was needed to be done, exactly how, it was just a vague idea. After going through the difficult moments and finally when the buoys were anchored, reef structures were sunk and anchored nicely, I can't help but to feel a great sense of satisfaction. This is probably one of the best things I have done for this club.

I started to fall sick on the 4th day of the dive. I had wanted so much to be there when they sink the structure. And the worst part, I suggested a leisure dive at Lang Island as a treat for the divers. And for both occasions, I can only snorkel on the surface. Argh!!! It was a struggle. So near yet so far. I was very tempted to just give it a shot. And I thought, if anything were to happen, MAYBE I would be able to react and surface in time, I could still save my own life. Nothing MAY actually happen. I would have survived the dive. Trust me, it was like a 'Angel' and 'Devil' thought over my head. And then I thought I would actually be depriving my dive buddy to ascend just because of my own selfishness to want to do something. Worst still, how would it affect the group if something happens to me. Sek Chuan's words were somewhat an answer I was hoping that the Divine One would give me. Ok, so I stayed on the surface.

That last morning, Nash words were affirmation to my decisions. He agreed that I made the right call. Thank you Lord for the wisdom that you have given me. When we trek or climb, it is often said that the mountain is always there. I would like to think and say to the divers, the sea is always there too. We only have 1 life.

Sometimes, it isn't that we aren't listening or discerning. Rather, we have opted for selected listening, internally even. I've seen this in my students, colleaguees and people around me. In difficult situations, how many times do we allow ourselves to listen to what is going to be told to us or do we jump the gun first? I'm glad that I didn't let my mind rule over my decisions this time.

I know He has always there protecting me. I'm grateful, truly blessed. It's these little things that many times we don't see and appreciate Him. Lead me Lord, in all my down trodden roads, for I know You'll never give me more than what I can cope. Thank YOU! :D