The Blind Leading The "Blinds"

I had a very interesting activity today as part of a project I'm involved in. I could not see totally, pitched dark to be precise and had to feel my way using different senses. I'm not suppose to reveal much because that would give away what is in the journey. If you want to have a try, contact me. To sum it up, the life of a visually handicapped in one hour.

It dawned upon many things after the experience. During the walk, I could only settle my anxieties after almost half the journey. So much anticipation till I was so noisy and making a lot of comments.

I thought it was pretty easy to just feel the way but at some points, we had to follow the voice of our guide, which is visual handicapped in reality. Following the voice was really tricky especially as she starts walking away. But when we are lost or slow and call out to the guide, she would stop and wait for us. I find this very similar to how I or most people of the same faith as me reacts. Very often I needed to hear the Lord speak so clear to me to know what he wants from me, to follow Him. And when I am stranded behind He would always be there to wait for me to catch up. The guide like God would never leave anyone behind.

Most of us would also have encountered doing night walks in secondary school camps and got frightened by our seniors or friends. This fear is also common among many people and therefore before entering into the darkness, we were assured that no tricks would be played on us or make us feel insects or animals. I guess too much of Fear Factor shows. We had to trust what the guide says and do exactly to be safe. Akin to God, He always tells us that we need to trust in Him that He will provide and lead us through all our challenges. But this is only if we BELIEVE totally in this. I know even fervent Christians/Catholics sometimes would lose that trust. I used to entrust in Him so much and let Him run the show. I have drifted away so much that I would only turn to Him when I know only divine intervention can help. I need to find back this relationship of trust with Him again. I really need it especially with so much pouring down on me these days.

This journey in the dark has kind of given me a wake up call. That I need to open my ears to him everyday as if I am walking in the "dark". That only with His light that shines can lead me through the journey with faith by following what He says.

I need to work harder in this area.

Friend?

When we get too task oriented, we often would neglect the softer touch of the human side.

A friend asked me help for an event through my company's facility. Honestly, I treat the request as an official request and considered it partly because of friendship. And came one request after another. I know I have not gotten back to you for reply because I was busy with work and it takes time to seek for approvals. Yesterday, in the midst of my meeting, I received a sms that the last request is not needed anymore because an alternative ground have been gotten. I am pissed!! For me, if I have asked help from somebody, whether chance is slim or hopeful, I would check on the status again to get an official answer of 'yes' or 'no'. People could have worked on your request but you didn't know. And actually, I have gotten a verbal approval but just not in writings yet.

Maybe I am over-reacting but I do feel very played out. I'm your friend. The least you could have done was to check with me like how you did previously. I felt so taken for granted. All you gave your reason was not to put me in a difficult spot. Hello?!?! After a week plus from your official request you did this to me? Thanks for that consideration for me but if you had really put your thoughts for me, you would not have done this. I'm disappointed.

Say I'm petty or insensitive to your stressed situation now, the least I did when I asked of you for help, I would always check back with you first until u tell me you cannot do then I look for others for help. How do you know I'm not grappling with stress on my end too?

Humility

I learnt a great lesson today. Never insinuate that your subordinates made a wrong choice in what you think is not good in front of any students. Just because you think you have some similar portfolios before and you can put me down in your arrogant thinking. And by the way, branded stuffs doesn't mean that they are really good.

Half of 2010

It's 22 June and in another 8 days we would have completed half of 2010. They say when you pass 21 years old, time just slip through your fingers like sand.

This half a year has been challenging at work and at rehab. It's been almost 7 months and I'm still struggling to heal and recover from my knee surgery. It hinders my ability to do sports and am ended up in the roundest state I have ever been in. Picking up lap swimming and running was really tough. And to add on, my right heel is not helping with new injury. Nevertheless, I am grateful that I went through the op. I wasn't a 100% about it and had umpteen times of angel v devil in my head before I went. I'm glad I did it. Really. Though I am still trying to recover, the least I can feel is that usual pain is not there anymore.

Work? I shall not comment further. One day I had a friend, quite some time back, was concerned that my blogs sounded depressing because I was updating about work. Thanks friend. Appreciate your 'oei's over msn... :D

In the next half of the year, I would like to have more time to play, chill and relax. I hope I can achieve that. I hope to be strengthened with Faith and be filled with God's Peace and Love always especially in trying times. Projects after projects, I need the strength and wisdom from Him to lead me on.

This song gives me strength on my low days. Hope it will be of help to you too, when you need it. Thank you Ah Pa!

So You Would Come

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

33

I am truly blessed and loved by so many around me. I had countless of FB, sms and email wishes from friends and family who are all over the world. Got my first birthday greeting at 8.15am from my niece. And at 3pm, my 2 nephews refused to give up calling me to send their wishes. At least 4 birthday songs were sang to me, cut 3 cakes and 2 birthday treats. I own a car and have a stable job. I really must count my blessings! Thank you Lord, for everything!

So it's my fault

Dad: Why is the (styrofoam) box broken?

Me: I fell on it when I slipped from the wet cloth.

Dad: How can it be so broken?

Me: With my size of course it will break?

Dad: (Gave me a one kind look)

Me: You put a wet floormat on the marble flooring there is definitely a chance I will fall.

Dad: That's the domestic helper's problem, it's not my fault.

Me: Ya but the floormat is wet and it's slippery on this flooring.

Dad: The mats are dirty of course she has to wash it!

Me: Then after she washed she could dry it outside first than to leave a wet floormat here.

So me falling down is wrong because it broke his box. I walked off after saying the last sentence. Not even a word of concern asked. If it was him who fell, it would be a different story.

Like that lor...

Just finished a week long of graduation with me scheduled for first and last day duties. 3 sessions a day, I "sang"/lip-synced the national anthem 6 times this week. Usually I would look forward to every year this time as we get to see students who have been working in line with me after a long time since they left school. This year, it just feels like part of my work routine.

This year's graduation has its significance on me. I am witnessing the 1st batch of students whom I first taught back in 2007. Now, they have graduated. Time have really flown. So fast, so furious. I could recognise a few of them and one of them, a scholar even remembered me though I can't really remember him, haha. Can't blame me as I teach almost 200 students a year. Even those who were under my CCA Clubs' care, I can't remember their names but can recognise their face though.

Congratulations graduands!