Friend?

When we get too task oriented, we often would neglect the softer touch of the human side.

A friend asked me help for an event through my company's facility. Honestly, I treat the request as an official request and considered it partly because of friendship. And came one request after another. I know I have not gotten back to you for reply because I was busy with work and it takes time to seek for approvals. Yesterday, in the midst of my meeting, I received a sms that the last request is not needed anymore because an alternative ground have been gotten. I am pissed!! For me, if I have asked help from somebody, whether chance is slim or hopeful, I would check on the status again to get an official answer of 'yes' or 'no'. People could have worked on your request but you didn't know. And actually, I have gotten a verbal approval but just not in writings yet.

Maybe I am over-reacting but I do feel very played out. I'm your friend. The least you could have done was to check with me like how you did previously. I felt so taken for granted. All you gave your reason was not to put me in a difficult spot. Hello?!?! After a week plus from your official request you did this to me? Thanks for that consideration for me but if you had really put your thoughts for me, you would not have done this. I'm disappointed.

Say I'm petty or insensitive to your stressed situation now, the least I did when I asked of you for help, I would always check back with you first until u tell me you cannot do then I look for others for help. How do you know I'm not grappling with stress on my end too?

Humility

I learnt a great lesson today. Never insinuate that your subordinates made a wrong choice in what you think is not good in front of any students. Just because you think you have some similar portfolios before and you can put me down in your arrogant thinking. And by the way, branded stuffs doesn't mean that they are really good.

Half of 2010

It's 22 June and in another 8 days we would have completed half of 2010. They say when you pass 21 years old, time just slip through your fingers like sand.

This half a year has been challenging at work and at rehab. It's been almost 7 months and I'm still struggling to heal and recover from my knee surgery. It hinders my ability to do sports and am ended up in the roundest state I have ever been in. Picking up lap swimming and running was really tough. And to add on, my right heel is not helping with new injury. Nevertheless, I am grateful that I went through the op. I wasn't a 100% about it and had umpteen times of angel v devil in my head before I went. I'm glad I did it. Really. Though I am still trying to recover, the least I can feel is that usual pain is not there anymore.

Work? I shall not comment further. One day I had a friend, quite some time back, was concerned that my blogs sounded depressing because I was updating about work. Thanks friend. Appreciate your 'oei's over msn... :D

In the next half of the year, I would like to have more time to play, chill and relax. I hope I can achieve that. I hope to be strengthened with Faith and be filled with God's Peace and Love always especially in trying times. Projects after projects, I need the strength and wisdom from Him to lead me on.

This song gives me strength on my low days. Hope it will be of help to you too, when you need it. Thank you Ah Pa!

So You Would Come

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

33

I am truly blessed and loved by so many around me. I had countless of FB, sms and email wishes from friends and family who are all over the world. Got my first birthday greeting at 8.15am from my niece. And at 3pm, my 2 nephews refused to give up calling me to send their wishes. At least 4 birthday songs were sang to me, cut 3 cakes and 2 birthday treats. I own a car and have a stable job. I really must count my blessings! Thank you Lord, for everything!

So it's my fault

Dad: Why is the (styrofoam) box broken?

Me: I fell on it when I slipped from the wet cloth.

Dad: How can it be so broken?

Me: With my size of course it will break?

Dad: (Gave me a one kind look)

Me: You put a wet floormat on the marble flooring there is definitely a chance I will fall.

Dad: That's the domestic helper's problem, it's not my fault.

Me: Ya but the floormat is wet and it's slippery on this flooring.

Dad: The mats are dirty of course she has to wash it!

Me: Then after she washed she could dry it outside first than to leave a wet floormat here.

So me falling down is wrong because it broke his box. I walked off after saying the last sentence. Not even a word of concern asked. If it was him who fell, it would be a different story.

Like that lor...

Just finished a week long of graduation with me scheduled for first and last day duties. 3 sessions a day, I "sang"/lip-synced the national anthem 6 times this week. Usually I would look forward to every year this time as we get to see students who have been working in line with me after a long time since they left school. This year, it just feels like part of my work routine.

This year's graduation has its significance on me. I am witnessing the 1st batch of students whom I first taught back in 2007. Now, they have graduated. Time have really flown. So fast, so furious. I could recognise a few of them and one of them, a scholar even remembered me though I can't really remember him, haha. Can't blame me as I teach almost 200 students a year. Even those who were under my CCA Clubs' care, I can't remember their names but can recognise their face though.

Congratulations graduands!

Heavy

Today we had the 2nd casualty for the module. The first was a head injury requiring to be warded, today was a finger dislocation.

On my way back from the hospital I was stuck in a very slow moving traffic back to school. I felt very thankful that the injury was not very serious. And then it dawned upon me that my job is quite a thankless job. I don't earn a high paying salary even when I have to undertake more risk in my work.

It's this time of the year again and I have to students overseas soon. Without fail, the trip organisers would surely go through a tug of war over various issues that were raised year after year. To them, it is the fun and excitement in the activities that they would like to offer. To me, I always have to plead them to think from the school point of view as well.

It's not because it's tougher or more demanding terrain that I don't want to do. On each trip, I have the duty of care over each of them. I can lose my job for nuts if something were to happen, but I know it will never get through my conscience that a serious or fatal accident occured due to my negligence. A few years ago, when I first took over this adventure club, the President had the cheek to even tell me that he was willing to undertake all responsibilities. I threw a question back at him, "Who are you to undertake such responsibilities? Can you ever repay somebody else's son / daughter?" In the name of tradition, they were willing to put so much at risk.

If an engineer can get a few hundred dollars by just signing on a piece of paper, why shouldn't we be treated similarly when I have duty of care over people's lives? What is the difference? When will the organisation ever see the amount of responsibilities doesn't equate with the remunerations?

Wisdom, I need. Graces even more to see me through it all. But how long more?